| By Mike Batchelor
2006 Easter Jeep Safari - Moab, Utah
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It was a few days before Thanksgiving when the phone rang. The caller
ID said it was our Editor, Rick Webster. I thought about not answering
it, but like Cameron at the beginning of Ferris Beuler’s Day Off,
I knew that he would just keep calling and calling until I picked up
the phone.
Fortunately, the call was quick
“Hello?”
“Hey man, it’s Rick. Don’t make any plans for early
April.”
“Why not”, I inquired.
“We’re goin’ to Moab”
Click!
Yes, that call kicked off a journey that I won’t soon forget.
We were headed to Moab, Utah for the 2006 Easter Jeep Safari. In case
you haven’t heard, EJS is the Sturgis of the off-road community
and I was anxious to witness the spectacle it for the first time.
Thursday - One day before departure
April was upon us before I knew it and it was time to get our junk
packed. Before we hit the highway we had some last minute products to
install for review. Rick installed the Xtang Trifecta Tonneau Cover,
plugged up his Lowrance iWay 500c navigation system, installed a new
rear bumper on his FJ, and changed the master
cylinder to fix his longstanding brake problems. He needed a little
help installing the Edge Attitude and Juice diesel performance modules
in the tow rig, so he called me for a helping hand.
“Do you think it wise to perform major surgery on the tow rig
the night before we leave?” I inquired.
“Don’t worry about it” replied the ever optimistic
Rick in a tone that sounded strangely like famous last words.
The operation was success and we pulled the Duramax out of the driveway
for its shakedown run with the new brain installed. Before I finish
the story there is something you should know about the editors at 4X4REVIEW.
We are generally impatient and about a subtle as whack to the forehead
with a ball-peen hammer. So with the instructions still safely sealed
in their plastic baggie, the first order of business after pulling the
$40,000 Duramax out onto the street was to crank the Edge Attitude control
module to its “Extreme” power setting, ignore the on-screen
warnings, and plant the go-go pedal firmly into the floorboard.
Vrooom… screech! PUH! Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank!
Something underneath protested the Duramax’s new found oomph and
voiced its opposition with a cacophony of rattling metal. We pulled
over and investigated the situation only to discover that the added
exhaust pressure had actually managed to blow the Corsa muffler off!
After realizing that the exhaust clamps were never re-torqued, we got
the muffler reattached and headed out again to examine the new heard
of horses under the hood of the mighty Duramax. The rest of the test
run was uneventful except to say that the Edge Juice Diesel performance
computer transformed the well behaved Duramax into a brutally fast,
stoplight grand-prix champion.
Friday – Launch Day
Road trips rule. Like Jake and Elwood Blues, we had 1500 miles to Moab, a
full tank a diesel, half a pack of cigarettes, it was dark and we were
wearing sunglasses. Ok, so we don’t smoke and we aren’t
cool enough to wear sunglasses at night but we still hit the road like
we were on a mission from God. In two hours we put The Hoosier State
behind us and in four more hours The Land of Lincoln was in the rear
view mirror as well.
The trip through Missouri was uneventful as was the trip through Kansas.
Actually, the trip through Kansas was painfully uneventful. Interstate
70 was so straight through western Kansas that we considered setting
the cruise control, bungee cording the steering wheel to the door handle
to keep it straight, and taking a nap. Fortunately the trip through
Kansas was all at night so I was able to sleep through it – as
a passenger, of course.
 When
I woke up we were within sight of the majestic and beautiful Rocky Mountains.
If you have never seen the Rocky Mountains you must put a trip to Colorado
on your list of things to do before you die – that, and maybe
joining the Mile High Club. They are absolutely magnificent in a way
that can’t quite be captured in pictures. You have to wonder what
the first American explorers must have thought as they saw this incredible
wall of snow and rock, and then realized that they had to go over them
because there was simply no way around. My guess is that they thought
“Holy Schnikees!”
I must say that Rick’s Chevy 2500 did a phenomenal job of lugging
his heavy cruiser through the mountains. The  Duramax
had power to spare and the wicked-smart Allison transmission provided
intelligent engine braking when we were careening down mountain passes.
Well done Chevrolet.
Three hours later we pulled into the sleepy little town of Moab, UT.
Surrounded by red cliffs, Moab is an off-roader’s heaven and Easter
Jeep Safari is like the day that the saints go marchin’ in. The
wild and crazy array of Jeeps, and every other off road vehicle known
to man, had only started to arrive by the time we showed up but it was
obvious that this wasn’t some weekend car show. The rigs that
sat in every hotel parking lot all along Route 191, Moab’s main
drag, ranged from bone stock TJs to six figure competition rock buggies.
After a much needed shower and a hot meal we crashed hard in preparation
for a solid week of 4 wheeling.
Sunday
 After
a good nights rest and a gallon of coffee we were ready to take on our
first Moab trail so we decided to hit one of the most difficult trails
in Moab - Prichett Canyon. Ironically it is not your typical Moab trail
since it is nearly devoid of Moab’s famous slickrock. Its rocky
floor and jagged walls look more like something from Arizona or New
Mexico. Make no mistake, however, this trail did not lack for visual
appeal.
Since Rick didn’t really have much time to shake his rig down
we sort of knew that we might have some small issues. One of Rick’s
modifications prior to heading out was to remove the anti inversion
tabs on his Old Man Emu shackles to get more axle articulation. He definitely
got more travel but on the first obstacle his shackles inverted. Ten
minutes into the trail and it was time for our first trail repair. After
a few minutes of furious head scratching, our trail leader and owner
of Stage West
4Wheel Drive Center, Joel Snyder came up with the idea of welding
a bolt onto each of the rear shackles to prevent them from inverting.
The fix worked like a charm and in less than an hour we were back on
the trail. The obstacles were challenging but far from impossible for
our hearty group that included an FJ40, a CJ5, a YJ, 2 CJ7s and a Scorpion.
All of these rigs were very capable machines as most of them had been
blessed by Stage West in some way, shape, or form. Pat Gordon’s
Scorpion was truly amazing, however. If you have  never
seen one of these technological marvels, you owe it to yourself to check
one out. It made child’s play out of every obstacle that Prichett
had in its repertoire, and looked very cool doing it.
We had been on the trail for a couple of hours and it was time for
our next unscheduled trail fix. This one wasn’t a show stopper,
but the racket from the exhaust banging against the rear axle was really
getting annoying so we decided that it had to go. Rick keeps a pretty
complete set of tools but he was a little lacking in the saw department
so we had to remove the two and three-quarter inch pipe with what amounted
to a butter knife. OK, it was actually a miniature hack saw but I am
pretty sure that I have spread butter with knives that were sharper
than this thing. After about 20 minutes of sawing (which seemed like
hours considering we were doing it upside down, and our arms were protesting
with fiery fury since every drop of blood had long rushed out of them)
we finally liberated the noisy tailpipe and we were on our way to one
of the toughest obstacles that Prichett Canyon had to offer.
Rocker Knocker is a formidable challenge. It is a large, double-stepped
obstacle, similar to Double Whammy, but steeper. While watching these
Moab veteran’s, I quickly learned that the secret to this obstacle
is to approach it from the far right side, at a slight angle, then crab-walk
the obstacle all the way to the left. Then the rig falls into a substantial
hole where it pitches the rig to the driver’s side so far, that
you could work on the undercarriage without laying down. From there
it’s just a bit of throttle work to march your way to victory.
All of our rigs made it up this obstacle and only the super short wheelbase
CJ5 required the application of a spotter rope to keep it stable. Once
we were up, we watched some other folks clown around on Rocker Knocker
as we ate burritos that we had stashed in the engine earlier.
After lunch we headed back out of the canyon the way we came in. I
took some time behind the wheel and, of course, had a blast. Prichett
Canyon was a fantastic way to start our Moab adventure.
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